COiN OPERATED BOY
by Jaded-Raindrop
Summary: roxith:: wrap my arms around him and pretend...


-I FINALLY WROTE A ROXTH. I've actually been meaning too for awhile, though. AND I FINALLY DID.

All of my inspiration comes from the song _Coin Operated Boy_ by Desdren Dolls. Ever since my friend introduced me to it, it's been stuck in my head, and I finally thought: 'Hey, this would make a good Roxith!' Hence, this.:D

**Disclaimer: meow.**

--

_coin operated boy_

_sitting on the shelf_

_he is just a toy _

A sad, sad loneliness made up her whole existence.

On her sleeve she wore her heart-it was big, it was full of love, but patched up and torn in so many places that the unhappiness and desperation spilled out and stained it with every shade of gray.

Her smile was hopeful-in an urgent, docile way, and her green eyes burned with a flame long since snuffed out on the other end. The love that still burned made her insane and lonesome, as she waited for the object of her affections to come and take her back.

She stood in the market through wind and rain, hoping to recreate the fateful day that they met.

And while she waited, she smiled a distant smile and held a wilted flower in her hand. Her gaze never met anyone else's, for she was looking for someone-someone long gone.

She was not _dumb_, like everyone thought she was, she knew how to speak and breath and love, and she knew how to get along by herself.

She was not _dumb_, but maybe she _was_ crazy.

Because-blue eyes haunted her dreams and every _cloud_ formed his face, sending her into hysterics and making her cry useless tears that didn't do _anything_ to help ease her loneliness.

She talked to herself while she stood in that corner of the market through wind and rain and laughed with the ghost of a man who left her long ago.

--

Inside, he was swirls of black darkness and empty longing.

Outside, he was fake grins and bright colors and two, bright blue eyes.

His movements were that of an unwilling puppet who had accepted it's sad role in life, but refused to believe it's purpose was to simply fade away when his other half decided it was time for him to.

He fought-he fought _hard_ to be normal, but he was too naive, and he was used and trampled on. But-it was only sometimes that he thought it good that he didn't have a heart, and those were the times he knew he'd been treated worse than any common rat you found on the street, but all the other times-all those other times, he relished being paid attention too, and he relished being touched, because at those times, he at least knew he _existed. _

Everyone _knew_ there was something wrong with him-because he didn't laugh at the right things, and his smiles were forced.

They just didn't know what.

And they didn't know, that as they moved about their daily lives and laughed and cried, he was watching them, and wishing he could do the same.

He wished he could smile like he meant it.

He wished the tears he cried at night were real and the blood he bled when he scraped his hand was red, instead of black.

He wished a lot of things. A lot of things he knew would never, _never_ come true, no matter how many wishes he made, no matter how many magic lamps he found, no matter _what_ he did.

It was useless.

He was just another puppet, held by imaginary strings, with painted on smiles and fake, _fake_, **fake** blue eyes.

--

_but I turn him on_

_and he comes to life_

_automatic joy_

She stood there with the same distant smile and looked beyond the crowd-looking for him.

Like she did everyday.

But that day, she was particularly hopeful, for, on her way to the market that morning, she had caught a glimpse of blond spikes bobbing through the jumble of people.

Just the thought that there _might_ be hope for his return lifted her mood and today-her eyes were bright with the fire that had long since been in her soul.

A split second later, her eyes locked with that of a blond haired, blue eyed boy, who was not much younger than herself.

Her smile grew wide and her eyes filled with unspeakable happiness, but deep inside, she knew it was not who she was looking for. She also knew that she didn't really care, she only wanted to be held.

And he looked enough like him, didn't he?

"Cloud!" she exclaimed, running to him. "I knew you'd come back!"

Confusion filled the boy's eyes as he opened his mouth to ask her, "Who?"

But he was cut off.

By a kiss.

--

Something awakened inside him the moment she kissed him.

He had never been kissed like this-barely kissed at all, but all the other kisses were fake, while this...something lit up inside him. Something that told him he had to do _everything_ to make this woman happy, to fill the place of 'Cloud', to hold her and _mean _it.

His puppet eyes filled with tears and he tugged against the strings holding him to wrap his arms around her and say, "Of course."

The woman looked stunned for a moment,as if she knew he wasn't who she thought he was, and he shrunk back for a moment, fearing that she would push him away and scream: "You aren't Cloud!" But she merely smiled and hugged him tightly.

"Come on, Cloud! We should go celebrate!" she tugged him through the hoards of people, people who threw him strange looks, people who probably _knew_ Cloud, and _knew_ he wasn't him.

But the strange thing welling up inside him told him to ignore them.

And go along with it.

She took him to an out of the way restaurant, and they sat by the window. While they ate, she pointed out people and things, asking, "Do you remember when we did this?" or "Do you remember when we went there?" and "Hey, remember them?"

All he could do was nod silently.

As she laughed happily at memories he didn't have, he suddenly realized he didn't know her name. Panicking, he desperately scrambled to think of a way to get it out of her, a way that wouldn't involve him directly asking her.

She giggled. "You never were much of a talker, were you, Cloud? You just nod, or grunt and say. 'Yes, Aerith.'"

He smiled. "Yes, Aerith."

--

She took the not-Cloud a restaurant in a part of town she'd never been to before.

She pretended to know the sights and people that passed by, but what she was _really_ doing was avoiding the places full of the _real_ Cloud.

She knew he was dead. She just refused to believe it.

--

Over the next few weeks, something real began. Her sadness dissolved, his purpose was less hazy.

No longer was she looking at the ghost of Cloud, but a real, breathing boy who could hold her and make her feel loved.

But there was a voice inside her that said it _simply_ wasn't meant to be.

No longer did he feel his existence was meaningless, because he had her. He felt so _real_ when he held her hand, when he kissed her soft lips.

But there was still the part of him that reminded him _constantly_ that he wasn't really meant to exist.

When she looked into his eyes.

When he smiled her gently.

They both knew it was wrong.

And they both really didn't care-even when he _told_ her,

"I can't love you."

She refused to believe him, though she'd noticed for very long that his actions were false-as sincere as he tried to make them.

"Of course you can." she said, shaking her head.

"Aerith-" he objected.

She stopped him, tears in her eyes. "Please." she whispered. "_Try_."

"...Aerith..."

"_Try_ to hold me like you love me. Even if you don't. Even if you can't. I _need_ you to. I need you." she begged.

He nodded, biting his lip. "...Okay."

--

He did try.

He really did.

But day after day of pretending that he actually felt something in his heartless chest for her was wearing him down-and he _knew_ she deserved better than merely a puppet with broken strings.

Because strings always get fixed in the end.

And in the end, he faded away as he held her one night. He knew it was coming, he could feel his other half call for him impatiently. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her forehead. He knew, that if he was real, he would've loved her better than anyone. They'd have a fairy-tale ending, a happily ever after.

But happily ever afters don't really _ever_ happen.

And in the end, she woke up moments after he had gone, because she'd felt the warmth of his arms leave her.

Tears ran down her cheek.

"Not again..." she whispered to the empty room. "Please, don't leave me again..."

No one answered.

--

The sad, sad loneliness returned.

On her sleeve were the broken remnants of her heart.

On her face was the ghost of a smile-a sad, hapless smile proclaiming to the world that she'd given up. Her eyes, once bright and full, were dead.

She stood in the corner of the market and stared up into the sky, holding a flower and waiting for it to wilt.

_that is why I _

_want_

_a _

_coin operated boy_

--

:D...Well, I did this in about an hour. It was not planned at all, so...um, yeah.

REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.


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